Do you have the right people in your tribe?
Knowing that we become the average of the 4 or 5 people we spend the most time with – are you happy with your current tribe? Are you happy being the average of those? Are there people that you want to be more like?
If not, it’s important to look at how you’ve acquired this tribe and start making some better choices. It’s easy to talk about cutting toxic or negative people out of our life but many find it really difficult to do so.
One of the reasons it can be so difficult is because we often attract into our adult lives what we are familiar with – positive and negative – from our earlier experiences, particularly our family of origin. If there are dysfunctional patterns in your early experiences and connections you are likely to recapitulate those experiences by attracting others that fill those old roles and patterns. If that’s a part of your experience, it’s time to do some work on addressing that so that you can start to differentiate yourself from the old and create new patterns of engagement and attract new people into your life.
It doesn’t have to be dramatic and awful – you can choose how to set some boundaries and distance from people that aren’t healthy to have too close to make room for others that are resonating closer to where you are and want to be.
You get to choose who your tribe is and set the standard for what’s acceptable to be the average of. If you’re not satisfied with what you have now – be bold in this area and do some work on yourself to change.