There are lots of reasons why people fail at their New Year’s resolutions. Some say it’s that we set unrealistic goals that are impossible to achieve in a year. Others say that we set goals that are too small. I think both can be true but I also think that we don’t set goals that really matter enough to us, big or small. We all have areas of our lives that we’re dissatisfied with and want to make changes and this is a natural time of year to do so.
Small goals typically don’t have enough meaning to us – we might accomplish them, like flossing our teeth, but how big is the celebration of that when we achieve it? How much can you really savour being a daily flosser?
Big goals without a reason or a plan or with missing resources seem too scary to even write down and we can’t envision ever reaching them let alone celebrating them. We get caught in the details and excuses of why it won’t work, why we won’t make it, and forget to think long term – end of the line – how amazing will you feel when you DO accomplish it. How proud of yourself would you feel if you did set and reach goals that matter to you?
Here are three ways to shake up your resolutions or goals this year. Three areas and three reasons or goals for each.
- What’s life and death to you right now? Not necessarily physical life and death, but emotional, mental, spiritual life and death? What areas of your life are thriving and which ones are shrivelled up. What three things absolutely have to change to bring you life this year in one or all of these areas?
Don’t just think about them, write them down. These are things that should have urgency.
- What are you passionate about? What really fires you up when you think about it? What three things have you always wanted to do, learn or start that really matters to you? Don’t think just yet about how you’re going to do it or allow excuses about missing resources to come into your mind just yet. You can figure those out when you make your action plan for how you’re going to reach those things. But these are those lost treasures in your soul that need to be ignited and brought back to the forefront of your mind.
Think big. Get excited. Write them down.
- What three things did you do in 2015 that you will never do again? What have you done that has brought negative impact to you life, has been toxic, or dangerous in some way? These are the areas where you are standing in your own way. Often our never agains have to do with boundaries we didn’t set in our relationships, businesses, or environment. Be honest here.
These are the areas where you need to make commitments to never again get in your own way. For me, this was definitely the most humbling of the three. These are the insidious seeds of derailment that take up valuable mental and emotional energy and hold us back from what we really want in our lives.
Look at these three areas. Be honest. Write down your three for each. Then start doing some research on the best ways to reach your goals and set an action plan. Fill in the missing resources in your life and make a plan that brings action to these identified areas.
Start thinking bigger, bolder, more passionately so that you don’t spend another year spinning your wheels in the same places you did this year. Do this while you still have time. I bet you are living smaller than your potential right now. I bet you can live bigger.
I hope you set some big goals for 2016. I hope to hear about the ones you achieve. Happy New Year!